Turning the Page

Yesterday was our last day of work at our first careers. Jeff was asked how it felt, "I'm 90% happy and excited and 80% sad and nostalgic". For a couple that doesn't consider themselves overly emotional, these last few days have been filled with emotion more than 100% of the time.  Just as every coin has two sides, great positives have powerful negatives. We have been blessed to work with amazing people. People that love us and care for us and bring out the best in us. Saying "See you later" to these kinds of people is hard.

Jane has been having a particularly hard time saying goodbye to her daycare crews. Those from the past have been physically removed from our home for some time but the connection remains and is just plan painful to put on hold. The bus bunch that was in her daycare and are still coming before school left her in a crying puddle of goo as they left for school the last time, talk about melancholy! The current group that she feels she is quitting in the middle of and already missing and already lamenting the fact that she won't be a part of their growing up, is a special kind of sadness. Jeff loses his kids every year and, although saying goodbye to them was more emotional than usual, all in all it was pretty normal. Saying goodbye to people that you have worked with for decades, in one case 3 decades, really made a hole. No longer being a part of the Lakeshore Middle School team makes him so thankful for those people and yet empty. Saying goodbye to his Christian brothers from both Lakeshore and Grand Haven High School... it's best just not to think about it.

So yeah, turning this page is really hard to do. It's that whole coin thing, such rich blessed careers leads to a painful moving on. Then we think about the why we are doing this and our courage begins to rise. We have seen multiple amazing answers to prayer to get this far. It doesn't lessen the loss to be moving on to something that we are wholeheartedly committed to do, but it does help your brain wrap itself around this overflowing emotional turmoil that dominates your thoughts. Turning a heavy, beautiful, wonderful, relationship filled page to an adventurous, unknown, God inspired page is pretty blessed, don't you think?

What is "Happily ever after"?

We learned early in our married life that there is not really a happily ever after. At least not our definition. In our happily ever after, kids don't put screws up their nose (Ben), pipes don't freeze (picture Jane in the crawl space under our house thawing them with a hairdryer - she was not happy), and mufflers don't drag and throw pretty sparks all over the neighborhood (just embarrassing). Realizing there was always going to be something less than welcome coming our way, in the end, was pretty healthy. Knowing, after we mopped up the flood in the basement, there would be something else, while not desired, was somehow comfortable.

Over spring break we were walking on a beach in Louisiana and, as we looked ahead, there were obstacles everywhere. Debris laying every which way. It looked like it was going to be a treacherous walk. We started out and soon we were walking around branches, stepping over logs, and wading through puddles. In spite of the challenge, it ended up being a very enjoyable walk. When we finished, we remarked at how the walk was similar to life. Looking ahead, your eyes focus on the things (challenges) that get in the way of the walk. Things like screws and frozen pipes... well, you get the point.

Our journey to retirement, and a new road to Kenya, has had its share of obstacles. While, at times it has been a challenge and it hasn't always been fun, it has definitely been a joy. We are pretty accomplished at walking together and taking things on. A big difference this time?  We didn't even think about going without God. We have been very deliberate to walk alongside Him. Not ahead or behind. Thus the joy!

We are getting better at going God's way.  This is a long time coming. We are lifelong followers of Christ and still figuring out something that is elemental to the Christian life. Humbling?  Yes!  But, life is a highway and we're gonna walk it all our lives (I'm sure Rascal Flatts won't mind the paraphrase). The fact that God is still teaching us lessons and cares about our growth when He could/should have moved on to some faster learners is very encouraging.  See you down the road.

Nobody thinks about Me as much as I think about Me.

Without going into specifics, we have been living with a weight on our chest. How it stays there when we are changing diapers and hiking Rosy Mound Trail truly defies gravity. Today that weight was lifted and it is easier to breath. It has been a miracle. What we were told what couldn't be done, was done. We remember when a good friend prayed, "Let's go big! Let's ask that the path for the visa be cleared!" Thank you, Lord, for that answer. The relief is palpable. We both cried.  Which really is not a rare occasion, especially for Jeff (as you know Becky R:)  It's a surreal feeling and it takes more than a few minutes to fully sink in. We are so humbled by God's power and provision.

Monday night we talked with and supported a friend going thru a major medical issue.  Last night we were at a life group from our church and the prayer requests were significant. Six families in attendance and four of them going through major things. We prayed for each other and supported each other and then headed our separate ways. This morning we woke up with our issue in the forefront of our minds. Eventually, we brought the other issues to mind and lifted them up in prayer. How self-centered are we? We pray for hearts that think more of others and less about ourselves! Just this week we learned about: hairy cell leukemia, death of a roommate, premature profound hearing loss, and devastating pregnancy issues. Lifting up these issues and being supportive is the best way we know of to think less about ourselves.

In track, the hurdler knows where the hurdles are and is prepared. On this journey to Kenya, which is still almost 4 months away, we have said multiple times, "This should be the last hurdle!"   With the visa issue wrapped up, we are thinking no more hurdles?  But neither one of us is saying it outloud.  Pretty sure there are more hurdles ahead on the track. But our desire is to think less of "me" and more of others.

In another hurdle related matter, we are fully supported. Praise Jesus!

Answers to Prayer

One of the biggest growth areas we have had during this journey is how we anticipate God moving and showing us the answers to our prayers. For a long time, answer to prayer was, "Yes, you can have/get what you are asking for". As we matured we realized that nos and waits are often how we grew and were shaped. The idea that this is Answers to Prayer - Part One is exciting! We anticipate many more times when, out of our weakness, God will be lifted up and His strength will shine through.

Almost exactly one year ago we started to pray for unity about what to do in retirement. Jeff was restless but Jane felt her daycare was not finished until she got this last gang off to school which would be another two years. Then a cool thing happened. Jeff stopped talking and started praying. Praying for unity and a common desire. Jane began to feel the prodding that circumstances might be right to look into what God had in store for us sooner than she had planned. Our kids don't live close, grandchildren are in Utah:( and our parents have passed away. Perhaps now was the time to begin to apply to a mission agency and see where God might take us.  Answer!!

Last August we enrolled at a Connect Week with Africa Inland Mission. Neither of us were really too pumped to attend.  It was expensive, we were inside all week. We just struggled to see the fun. Before we left for the airport, we prayed that during the course of the week we would come to recognize God's desire for our future and, even if this was not the time to change careers, make some lifelong friends that we could support in their ministry. What a great week! Our call was clarified. We grew a huge appreciation for AIM and it's structure. We met 3 families that will be serving at RVA with us that you can tell will become lifelong friends. What a huge blessing to already know some people as we work, study and plan for the years ahead.  Answer!!

When we got home from Connect Week, we were revved up and ready to go. For Jane telling her families that she would be breaking what she believed was a trust, that she would be ending her care for their children at the end of this year, was extremely difficult.  But it was received with lots of love and support.  We started to pray that all four of her daycare children, three families, would be able to go to the same daycare. Again, God moved and, if they want to, all the kids can be at the same daycare next fall so the "buddies" can stay together!  Answer!!

In late September we compiled a list of families and friends to send our support letter to. We are from large families and have been blessed with many Christian friends and we thought this was going to be pretty easy. Write a support letter, outline the need, make the uncomfortable but necessary ask for financial support, and it would come rolling in. Not even close. We looked in the mailbox daily, nothing but Lands End catalogs. A huge generous gift by text and then nothing. We kept on praying.  A few months later, our financial supporters are many and varied but not at all what we predicted. God has used people to bless us in ways we could never have anticipated!  Answer (not what we thought/planned but better and blessed)!!

One of the questions we get often is, "What are you going to do with your house?" We answer, "We are praying for someone that would be blessed by our house and would be a blessing to us." The house blessing someone is self explanatory, blessing us needs a few words of clarification. We were looking for someone we trusted, we would be able to be picky and say things like, 'These shades need to be moved twice a month", and we could stay with them when we are in Grand Haven during breaks from RVA. At Christmas our niece Diane mentioned to Jane to keep her in mind if we needed someone to stay in our house.  She and her son, Gavin, needed to move in the summer from their current home. She and Gavin are the perfect fit.  Answer!!

So, we haven't gone anywhere and God is moving virtually everywhere we focus our prayer. Looking forward to seeing what answer comes next!!

Things we are praying about now:
- The last few hundred dollars a month of support.
-Continued time of study together. We have been spending 6ish hours on Saturday about every other weekend taking care of our required classes and reading.  Praying for perseverance.
-On March 21st we have a hearing to help sort our our visa issue.  Praying all goes well.
-Jeff's sister, Jane, fell and broke her arm and is recovering from surgery and balance issues.  Praying for pain relief and a quick recovery.

Baby Steps!

One of the things that stresses us out is what to take to Kenya. While we can get pretty much whatever we need within an hour of RVA, there are questions about price and quality. Some tell us to take very little.  Others, (who tell us they are minimalists) took 15 suitcases for a family of four. Everyone tells us to bring chocolate chips. Good to know! But we are counting on a friend's cookies (that's you Kristin) arriving on a regular basis. No one has given any advice on Peanut M&M's. Pretty sure they don't know about Jane's dependency on the candy that melts in your mouth, not in your hands. Probably we will have to get the UN to do an airdrop for those.

A bit of back story is needed to put last weeks stressor in context. We simply don't do things late. We are the early bird that gets the proverbial worm. Jeff is a lifelong member of the "Time Nazis". Seven o'clock means 7...blah, blah, blah. So last weekend we get a list of 7 or so families that are selling their households, meaning all you would need to set up your residence at RVA. For a variety of reasons, we missed the boat. Gone by the time we inquired. Huh? We looked at each other and said, "Hey, should we worry about this?"

At first, we were thrown off balance. As mentioned above, this is not a situation we find ourselves in often. It was uncomfortable, but only mildly so. We have a plan moving forward. We are counting this as a win. We didn't waste time worrying. We so often fall victim to stress and anxiety as chronicled earlier in these posts. Odds are that we will have to learn this lesson again in a new setting. But we are seeing signs of growth in our faith. Yay! Now, about those Peanut M&M's?

Waiting for the Sea to Part Exodus 12

As many of you know, we are working on a visa issue to be allowed into Kenya. This has been a frustration, hurdle, story problem, an unknown, stressor, humbling experience, learning experience, faith builder, well frankly it has dominated much of our thoughts and planning for nearly 2 months. It is being worked on from two angles, a lawyer here in the states and by AIM personnel in Kenya. We are confident in the end it will be worked out.

Here is some of what we have learned. During this time we have experienced many of the emotions the Israelites had when they were fleeing Egypt to go to the Promised Land. Let's not get carried away, we are not in fear of losing our lives nor are we fleeing slavery. More like there is a hurdle in the way of going from one great place to the next great place. Yet, it is how we feel. Our foot is in the air hovering over the Red Sea waiting for the sea to part. There have been tears. We have, for periods, turned our back on going and contemplated pulling the plug.  We have stopped our preparation.  We have lost some of the joy.  We have questioned our call. But mostly, we have looked up and focused on our Savior and looked for direction. We have been directed to:
     -Continue our preperation
     -Share our burden with more people
     -Count it all joy when we struggle
     -Embrace this opportunity to learn

Don't for a minute think we are complaining. In the middle, looking back, we can see God working. Looking forward, we have anticipation that he will remove the hurdle. Our preparation is back to a reasonable pace and we are making progress. Please continue to pray that we will be granted our visas and work permits. Thanks for sharing our journey with us even though we haven't really gone anywhere yet. Encouragement is a very high octane fuel.

In Case You Were Wondering

We, especially Jeff, spend time thinking about what is the bottom line? How much does this cost? High school play, Bob Seger concert, it doesn't matter, he will extrapolate the total and we will have a conversation about was this worth it? We attach value. We amatorrize, New mattress? 10 years? $84 dollars per year. That seems like a good value.

Two people well past middle age asking for $105,000 to spend two years working at a boarding school. Ouch!  Ooohh that may be a tad on the expensive side. Is this a good value? Well, we think it is a bargain. That's a full time person, most days 24/7, for under $27,000 a year. Both of us look at each other and think getting him/her for that amount to do what is being asked blows the mattress out of the water.

We know we are biased and have blind spots about our mate. Not so much so we can't look at our spouse and say you can get them for a school year for $27,000? You better jump on that deal! Seriously, the qualities we see in each other are exceptional. (How is bragging camp going?) Flaws? Yes, but the total package is solid and  worthy.

Jay two months.

As long as we are justifying things, here is one more. Rift Valley Academy, where we will be working, is a year round school with three month long breaks spread throughout the year. We hope to travel home a couple times a year to check on our kids. To be completely honest we really need to touch our grandchildren. FaceTime is great but it doesn't replace hugs. We promise no funds raised will be used for these trips. Retirement savings will take the hit to fund this extravagance.

We have no clue if anyone but us cares or thinks about stuff like this. We do though and we believe in full disclosure. There will be other things we wrestle with. You can find our thoughts here.

Ari 2 1/2