Be Bold, Be Strong...but only if it's comfortable?

I suspect we are like almost every other missionary when it comes to raising support. Asking for prayer support is easier and in some way noble.  After all, admitting we need God's help and asking you to petition our Father for that help makes us humble and vulnerable. Exactly what we want our missionaries to be.  Right? We both at times, different times thankfully, have a fear that grips us right to our core. So we know we need prayer to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Asking for money is personal and causes Jane and I to ask with all possible sincerity, "Are we worthy?" I guess we think so or we wouldn't be asking. Yet it still bothers us. Why? Pride, rejection, not sure. Probably both. Mostly, it seems like we are using people for what they can give you. Every time we think we have handed this over to God something happens that lets us know we are still struggling. Worrying about how this or that looks. Not wanting to text good friends to get their address. Having someone you should contact come to you during prayer and then later rationalize why you shouldn't send them a letter.  Blah, blah blah!

Our good friend commented, "This raising money thing has got to be the biggest roadblock." Instantly we thought yes. On further reflection it is much more like Moses' first step through the Red Sea. Not a roadblock but a cautious beginning. One of our desires is to be bold and to be strong "for the Lord thy God is with you". Yeah, the way we act is to be bold when it is comfortable, be strong when you are sure you got the win. You get the picture. How do we break out of this rut? Pretty sure it is to; listen, die to self and be obedient. Pray that we would become much more competent in all three of those areas.