IEP

Very few things in my Christian life go the way I think they will. I'm pretty sure God is trying to help me work on my need to control things. You would think I would get better at "Let go and let God" than I am. Not seeing any perceptible growth in this area. The latest episode of this is raising support for our work in Kenya.

Well, it is not going as I thought. Not a shock. In fact, entirely predictable. While it is not going as quickly as I would have liked, it is much cooler than I would have planned. Unexpected partners are a great encouragement. People who hear our story and are prompted to give that we don't really know melt your heart and stiffen your resolve at the same time. Friends that give more than they can afford to humble you as they inspire you to be the very best investment. A niece that supports you monthly with an amount that conjures up the story of the widow and her mites in Mark 12, a retired coworker that supports one special cause each year and she chooses you this year, gives you new found courage. When your daughter and her husband support you financially, share your story through social media and tells your extended family you are still in need of support, fills you with gratitude.

None of these blessings were in my plans. I struggle with how to rely on God and not to take responsibility for getting it all done. I struggle with the line between His provision and what I'm responsible for. I am convinced I have to look up more than I look ahead. The last month has been a great month of looking up. I am content watching God work. Jesus is telling me daily, "Don't worry, I've got this. Just be faithful and know my provision will be enough".

In the public school, for some students, we write an Individual Education Plan. It has amazed me for quite some time at how skilled our Father is at doing this. While this preparation for Kenya has been very unifying, it is clear that Jane and I are on different IEP's. My lessons are designed for my penchant for firing, then aiming. I'm learning to pray and be guided by the Holy Spirit. A little more aiming (prayer) before I fire. Jane is learning not to walk fearfully.  Not to let anxiety control her days and keep her from action.  She's learning to let the Holy Spirit guide her into boldness and security.  Looking forward to learning the next lessons in our IEP's!

Navel Gazing

Jeff used to teach with a great teacher and friend that reminded him the reason angels can fly - they take themselves lightly. The point was, we spend so much time thinking about ourselves that life drags us down. Wow, is that true of the two of us. The other day we came across the list of hardships the Apostle Paul went through to be a missionary and it was astounding.

A partial list from 2 Corinthians, chapter 11: imprisoned, beaten 5 times, stoned, 3 shipwrecks, and 24 hours floating in the sea. There was a time we didn't really like Paul. Talked about himself too much. Thought too highly of himself. That has done a complete 180. He is now a hero of ours. In public education we talk quite a bit about kids lacking grit. Compared to Paul, John Wayne lacked grit. Paul talked about himself to prove a point.  He was willing to do anything to magnify Christ.

It's ironic that we are blogging and constantly talking about ourselves. This irony is not lost on us. It is allowable, we think, because we are transforming into who we are called to be. Our desire to share our experience as two ordinary people stepping out in faith and doing something slightly outside the box is, like Paul, designed to reflect the light of Jesus. Each day we attempt to be faithful to the call in the face of waves and metaphorical shipwrecks. When we think about ourselves, Jeff calls this navel gazing, our fears grow and our courage wanes. When we think of our call and Savior, we are filled with the Spirit and the load is lighter. We can fly again!

Loose Ends

When we were in Georgia last summer, we spent time planning on how to get all the work done before we left for Kenya. We have done a pretty good job keeping up with our tasks except Jeff and purging. We are supposed to purge 3 hours a month. We are 4 1/2 months into getting ready to go and Jeff has purged 4 shirts, 3 pieces of plywood, and some old warped melomine. So that leaves him 13 hours 27 minutes and 18 seconds behind in his purging efforts. 

Last week, however, he did get rid of his left hip. He's got a brand new model! The recovery process is going well, in fact, great if you compare it to hip number one done in 2013. Don't even get him started on the benefits of anterior v. posterior hip replacement. He is a convert. Jane on the other hand has been keeping up with her purging and may be a bit ahead of scedule. She will never be a guest on American Hoarder.

One of the things we do now is talk about what we will be doing this time next year. Thanksgiving was the definition of bittersweet.  We had a great time with about half the family. Missed Ben, Christina and their kids. Also bitter because it is the last time we will spend Thanksgiving with family for the next couple of years Lord Willing. (Did you get that mom Boeve?) It seems like all the loose ends being tied up intensifies the initial call.

You ask yourself, is this barrier worth the effort? Most barriers are yes, without a doubt. Even the hip was a bit a head of schedule. Needed to be done but Jeff would have preferred to wait. Others, such as issues with the visa, make you question and reconfirm your committment and the call burns in your chest. It is not easy to tie up loose ends regarding gratifying and "called to" professions such as the two of us have cherished. Each step we take toward Kenya draws us one step closer to tying everything into one final messy bow.  We pray it will pleasing to our lord.

The Lord Willing...

Jeff's mom would say "The Lord willing" before or after any plans she had or anything she hoped to do.  If she was being playful, she would say "The Lord willing and the creeks don't rise." It was her way of saying every step she took was dependent on her heavenly Father. At times you wonder if she was hedging her bets. The way she lived her life, you knew that wasn't the case.

We have been going around telling people we are going to Kenya.  We are very excited to share the plans of our journey. It seemed as if all obstacles had been cleared, we had a sizable pile of "to do" boxes checked and we were all set. We thought all that box checking was our job and we didn't need God's help.

Last week a cloud rolled in that could nix the whole thing.  We don't need to talk about the particulars but it is worth talking about our perspective of what would it look like if we weren't able to go. We were heart sick. How would we be OK if this wasn't God's plan? How would we communicate the news to all those that were rallying around us to tell them plans were changed? Frankly, we felt foolish. We know "The Lord willing" is not just something you say it's something you breathe.

We have often run ahead of God only to be reminded we are not in control. These subtle and not so subtle reminders are, we pray, shaping us into transformed people. In Philippians 4:4 we are told to "rejoice in the Lord always" and in verse 5 we are told to "be anxious about nothing". While we were anxious for a bit, we are now rejoicing and have very little anxiety. Maybe we are becoming better at being the middleman?!

The Middleman

We wonder, why still worry when we have so many experiences of God's plan for our lives and so many times that he has taken care of us? It is our nature to wrestle with problems and try to solve them ourselves. Not sure if that is a West Michigan thing or an American thing. This we know for sure, it is a Jane and Jeff thing.

A great part about taking on this new challenge is we are both being pushed out of our comfort zones. It is exhilarating to not have all the answers and to humbly turn to God, chuck our cares his way. So many things are being blessed and providing us with assurance that he is guiding this journey. Then we have an issue, that is not part of the new journey, and we decide in our infinite wisdom that "We Got This"!

Jeff had a thing that was bugging the heck out of him. There wasn't anything we could see that we should do yet he was grousing about it off and on for months. To us it seemed unfair and unwarranted so frustration and anger were popular options. Just yesterday he realized that the best course of action was to pray and have faith.

Seriously, why do we pick and choose what we are willing to hand over to our Father? We have learned similar lessons so many times it is truly embarrassing to have to learn it again. The real growth we are seeing on a sort of consistent basis is the length of time we own things before placing them where they belong. Thankfully the time is getting shorter. We are hopeful that we will become middlemen and get rid of junk like it is our job.

What Is The Upside?

The other day I (Jeff) was napping on the couch when my phone buzzed. It was one of our kids calling just to talk. I instantly had a twang of regret hit my heart.  This won't happen when we are in Africa, is the thought that precedes the regret. This is happening often lately. Every thought of the future is mixed with living in Kenya and how that will change things. Big things like graduations and first birthdays and little things like following the Tigers are all going to take scheduling and effort. Logistically, this is going to push the two of us to our limits.

I have spent most of my life not really counting the cost of doing things. The reason being if I know the cost I might not have done this or gone there. For the most part, this has worked out to a B+ average. The huge majority of the time the ends have justifiesd the means. On few occasions, when we/I were hip deep in a project/venture, I felt like it would have been prudent to aim before I fired.

This time is completely different. The nature of this beast is a series of tasks and commitments spread over 12-18 months.  That makes it fairly difficult not to look before you leap. Usually, the looking is manageable and filled with faith. At times, it is filled with regret and fear.

So, what is the upside? That is where my thinking always takes me. I do these mental equations and factor in all the ideas swirling around and the solution presents itself. Going is the upside. Being obedient and knowing we are not enough and we need the Holy Spirit makes me so excited it smothers the fear and regret. This whole process has done wonders for my faith, my prayer life, my Bible study, and my unity with Jane.

My morning devotions have me working through Paul's letters. All his missionary triumphs and struggles makes me keenly aware of how much of a sissy I am. I'm pretty sure I could not have walked his road. Thankfully, God is only asking a guy, who has spent his entire life coloring inside the lines, to go work at a school 7 time zones away from home. The prayer is to stop thinking so much about myself and keep my eyes focused upon Him.

Be Bold, Be Strong...but only if it's comfortable?

I suspect we are like almost every other missionary when it comes to raising support. Asking for prayer support is easier and in some way noble.  After all, admitting we need God's help and asking you to petition our Father for that help makes us humble and vulnerable. Exactly what we want our missionaries to be.  Right? We both at times, different times thankfully, have a fear that grips us right to our core. So we know we need prayer to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Asking for money is personal and causes Jane and I to ask with all possible sincerity, "Are we worthy?" I guess we think so or we wouldn't be asking. Yet it still bothers us. Why? Pride, rejection, not sure. Probably both. Mostly, it seems like we are using people for what they can give you. Every time we think we have handed this over to God something happens that lets us know we are still struggling. Worrying about how this or that looks. Not wanting to text good friends to get their address. Having someone you should contact come to you during prayer and then later rationalize why you shouldn't send them a letter.  Blah, blah blah!

Our good friend commented, "This raising money thing has got to be the biggest roadblock." Instantly we thought yes. On further reflection it is much more like Moses' first step through the Red Sea. Not a roadblock but a cautious beginning. One of our desires is to be bold and to be strong "for the Lord thy God is with you". Yeah, the way we act is to be bold when it is comfortable, be strong when you are sure you got the win. You get the picture. How do we break out of this rut? Pretty sure it is to; listen, die to self and be obedient. Pray that we would become much more competent in all three of those areas.

Why Now?

We have been talking about what to do when we retired for almost a decade. We weren't dissatisfied in our current work, more like Jeff's need to have a picture of what was next. There was a wide range of options. Not that we  have so many skills, rather we were pretty open to at least talk about almost anything.  It always was centered on some sort of ministry somewhere. There was really very little agreement on what it would look like.

A few years ago we were at a wedding talking with a friend who had attended and worked at Rift Valley and the subject of what we wanted to do next came up. She was so positive about RVA and our fit there, it just took hold of Jeff's heart.

Jane didn't feel the same way! Basically she didn't want to talk about it because it was not anywhere near her radar. Through some uncommon wisdom, Jeff didn't push. Gradually different ideas and desires turned into one. It was really cool. Last winter we were walking in Lakeshore and Jane realized that the time to go was near. Our parents were gone, no kids within 3 hours of home and relatively good health. (Jeff does get a new hip in Dec.)  Had God been preparing us to go? It sure seemed so.

Jeff went to Haiti on a short term mission trip in early January and came back with the overwhelming feeling of it's time. Our barriers to working overseas are lower and fewer than most others. Don't get us wrong, our jobs here are super important and we have known that they were our ministry for all of our adult lives. It's just time for us to work on a new chapter.

It has been very unifying to have different desires and thoughts merge into one call where we get to work side by side. This process has already drawn us closer together. Working side by side in ministry has been a desire for many years. We feel blessed to have been given this gift.

Why Kenya?

The questions of: Why Africa? Why Kenya? comes up all the time. As children both Jane and I were bothered by the fact that there are many in the world that have never heard of our savior Jesus Christ.  This seed took hold in our hearts.  But Africa?  Going there (especially for Jane) was for someone else. It took a lot of work by the Holy Spirit to make this even a consideration.

As adults we find it unreal that there are still over 970 unreached people groups in Africa. AIM's mission is to find ways to reach these groups. While this is difficult and takes a lot of time and effort, we believe wholeheartedly in this mission. While we will not be out in the bush showing the Jesus film or anything like that, we are making it possible for others to take on that task.

When we were in Atlanta, we were so inspired by the families going to Africa. These families are leaving everything behind to help complete AIM's mission. By working at RVA we can provide direct support to those on the front lines. Our goal is to make the lives of every family we come in contact with easier. Please pray that we won't lose sight of this goal and get caught up in ourselves.

The Journey Begins

Not sure that you can teach an old dog new tricks.  There was a day we were near the cutting edge of technology, like we knew what a 16k Apple IIe could do. Now, we are struggling with a blog which is what? A decade away from new? In fact, just learned this week you don't double space after a period. Wow! Talk about an indignant Jane!

Heard on Monday we were appointed to Rift Valley Academy, responsibilities to be determined. Jane shared the news with her daycare families and they were uber supportive.  Finished our second of 8 online courses with 100% on the test. Jane takes great notes and I cheat off the pretty girl in the next seat. Trying to do one each month, done today and it's only the 17th. Another influence by my organized wife.

Finishing up our support letter and all that includes. Struggling with our protestant guilt ethic as we ask for some pretty hefty funds. Remembering we are called and this is part of the plan. Matthew 28 helps. Our goal is to fully explain things on the blog and try to be brief in our support letter. So check out here as we unpack our calling, fears, excitement and progress heading toward July 10, 2018, when we are scheduled to leave.