IEP

Very few things in my Christian life go the way I think they will. I'm pretty sure God is trying to help me work on my need to control things. You would think I would get better at "Let go and let God" than I am. Not seeing any perceptible growth in this area. The latest episode of this is raising support for our work in Kenya.

Well, it is not going as I thought. Not a shock. In fact, entirely predictable. While it is not going as quickly as I would have liked, it is much cooler than I would have planned. Unexpected partners are a great encouragement. People who hear our story and are prompted to give that we don't really know melt your heart and stiffen your resolve at the same time. Friends that give more than they can afford to humble you as they inspire you to be the very best investment. A niece that supports you monthly with an amount that conjures up the story of the widow and her mites in Mark 12, a retired coworker that supports one special cause each year and she chooses you this year, gives you new found courage. When your daughter and her husband support you financially, share your story through social media and tells your extended family you are still in need of support, fills you with gratitude.

None of these blessings were in my plans. I struggle with how to rely on God and not to take responsibility for getting it all done. I struggle with the line between His provision and what I'm responsible for. I am convinced I have to look up more than I look ahead. The last month has been a great month of looking up. I am content watching God work. Jesus is telling me daily, "Don't worry, I've got this. Just be faithful and know my provision will be enough".

In the public school, for some students, we write an Individual Education Plan. It has amazed me for quite some time at how skilled our Father is at doing this. While this preparation for Kenya has been very unifying, it is clear that Jane and I are on different IEP's. My lessons are designed for my penchant for firing, then aiming. I'm learning to pray and be guided by the Holy Spirit. A little more aiming (prayer) before I fire. Jane is learning not to walk fearfully.  Not to let anxiety control her days and keep her from action.  She's learning to let the Holy Spirit guide her into boldness and security.  Looking forward to learning the next lessons in our IEP's!

Navel Gazing

Jeff used to teach with a great teacher and friend that reminded him the reason angels can fly - they take themselves lightly. The point was, we spend so much time thinking about ourselves that life drags us down. Wow, is that true of the two of us. The other day we came across the list of hardships the Apostle Paul went through to be a missionary and it was astounding.

A partial list from 2 Corinthians, chapter 11: imprisoned, beaten 5 times, stoned, 3 shipwrecks, and 24 hours floating in the sea. There was a time we didn't really like Paul. Talked about himself too much. Thought too highly of himself. That has done a complete 180. He is now a hero of ours. In public education we talk quite a bit about kids lacking grit. Compared to Paul, John Wayne lacked grit. Paul talked about himself to prove a point.  He was willing to do anything to magnify Christ.

It's ironic that we are blogging and constantly talking about ourselves. This irony is not lost on us. It is allowable, we think, because we are transforming into who we are called to be. Our desire to share our experience as two ordinary people stepping out in faith and doing something slightly outside the box is, like Paul, designed to reflect the light of Jesus. Each day we attempt to be faithful to the call in the face of waves and metaphorical shipwrecks. When we think about ourselves, Jeff calls this navel gazing, our fears grow and our courage wanes. When we think of our call and Savior, we are filled with the Spirit and the load is lighter. We can fly again!

Loose Ends

When we were in Georgia last summer, we spent time planning on how to get all the work done before we left for Kenya. We have done a pretty good job keeping up with our tasks except Jeff and purging. We are supposed to purge 3 hours a month. We are 4 1/2 months into getting ready to go and Jeff has purged 4 shirts, 3 pieces of plywood, and some old warped melomine. So that leaves him 13 hours 27 minutes and 18 seconds behind in his purging efforts. 

Last week, however, he did get rid of his left hip. He's got a brand new model! The recovery process is going well, in fact, great if you compare it to hip number one done in 2013. Don't even get him started on the benefits of anterior v. posterior hip replacement. He is a convert. Jane on the other hand has been keeping up with her purging and may be a bit ahead of scedule. She will never be a guest on American Hoarder.

One of the things we do now is talk about what we will be doing this time next year. Thanksgiving was the definition of bittersweet.  We had a great time with about half the family. Missed Ben, Christina and their kids. Also bitter because it is the last time we will spend Thanksgiving with family for the next couple of years Lord Willing. (Did you get that mom Boeve?) It seems like all the loose ends being tied up intensifies the initial call.

You ask yourself, is this barrier worth the effort? Most barriers are yes, without a doubt. Even the hip was a bit a head of schedule. Needed to be done but Jeff would have preferred to wait. Others, such as issues with the visa, make you question and reconfirm your committment and the call burns in your chest. It is not easy to tie up loose ends regarding gratifying and "called to" professions such as the two of us have cherished. Each step we take toward Kenya draws us one step closer to tying everything into one final messy bow.  We pray it will pleasing to our lord.